Something to fix or something to face?


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People often come to therapy with the view that they want to fix something that they feel is wrong. Like they want to fix a bad memory of something. They’d like the remove an unwanted, uncomfortable feeling. Therapy doesn’t work like that. It is hard work.

Take depression. Depression often presents as a heavy feeling characterised by an overwhelming sense that there is nothing that can be done about the situation. It may very well be true. Sometimes nothing can be done to change a particular situation. Life can really dish up some rubbish when it wants to but we have to get on with living. There really is no other healthy choice.

Death can sometimes feel like an option but is simply a long-term solution to what may be a short term problem. So, the only way out of a depression is out and you have to work at it. The work is often painful with very intense emotions. Avoiding these thoughts and feelings can create other problems. Avoidance can take many forms. A common way is to indulge in a substance. This is OK for a little while but people can get stuck for years trying to erase bad memories. 

Avoiding negative thoughts and uncomfortable feelings has the opposite effect. The memories can grow in potency while whole lives are geared around trying to forget something terrible. The result is often a sense of inertia and hopelessness while erasing memories can become the focus of life. It is ironic how avoidance of painful emotions reinforces a sense of inability to cope and sets up a negative feedback loop that grows in intensity.

The alternative is to face the memories and the associated pain while making the conscious decision to get on with life. Confronting the memories is like standing up to a ten foot tall monster that scares the hell out of you but can not actually touch you. The memories can not hurt you anymore. They are past. Avoidance actually keeps the memories fresh. Professional counsellors can help you pass through this difficult terrain.

Moving from a life of avoidance and back into a life full of action changes one’s head space from being a victim of things that have happened and moves them to take up the stance of a survivor.

Take Care

Therapy Monkey


The Addict Industry: Is this news to you or just Politics?

Various prescription and street drugs may caus...

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 Hello reader    

Most people are unaware of the  ‘Addict Industry’. You hear a little about the “bad guys” in the news and let’s face it, no one really cares what happens to them.  They need to be dealt with,  Right ………?  So society does what wants with them.     The Addict Industry is a gold mine if you know where to dig.        

You’ve probably heard it said that we all know some one “on drugs” and how everyone has a relative that is an alcoholic. If you haven’t heard, take a moment now. Do you? You probably do.  That’s a lot of people. Lots of  ‘hooked’ people.    

The list of workers in the ‘Addict Industry’ would include but is not limited to people working for; the police, Courts, Corrective services (prison staff & parole officers), Corrective Services  Industries (using inmates as labour),  rehabs,  psychiatrists, doctors, nurses, psychologists, social workers, charity organisations, DoCS, methadone clinics, chemists, pharmaceutical companies, security guards, video surveillance companies, the list goes on and on ……..        

 The Addict Industry grows larger every day. Don’t get me wrong, there are some really beautiful people out there working in the industry. This is about the those who are making big money while professing dedication to improving  our society. I don’t buy it!  There are more prisons being built all the time.  Money makers trumpet their goodwill towards others but if you listen to them closely they are unethical, selfish and speak mostly about how wonderful they are.  These people seem fair but smell real foul and gravitate towards positions of power. They know who’s shoes to shine and are quite charming to the people above them. Those below don’t seem matter unless they want their car washed or need words of thanks and praise to fill their massive egos.     

The problem is that the Addict industry has a helpful façade but actually keeps many of their customers dependent while fostering a sense of hopelessness in its customers. This is only mentioning drugs and alcohol. The big picture becomes pretty scary if you include all the diets in magazines, internet addiction, video games, dating sites,  junk food, fizzy drinks and anything else you can think of that ‘hooks’ people.   

If you don’t believe me, ask yourself why the world is becoming more overweight when there are thousands of diets to choose from. Building more prisons would be a waste of time if the criminal justice system was working. More and more people are on medications for anxiety and depression instead of a less depressed and anxious population. The opposite to treatment is occurring.   

The more we focus on ‘the fix’ the more we feel broken.   

People are not broken. Only stuck believing that they are broken.   

People need knowledge, empowerment, hope and inspiration. Instead the “Industry” maintains its customers as consumers so they keep coming back.  There are many workers who battle on while being stifled by the politics of small-minded business people. The business and therapeutic models of treatment differ vastly so admin people should go away, balance their books and leave the clinical work to those who know what they’re doing.    

More later ………          

Take Care           

Therapy Monkey              

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What exactly is therapy? 1.

Family Therapy

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Blog 1.

Hello to you the reader

Therapy is a beautiful thing. I believe that therapy (or counselling) is a space where a person (or more than one in the case of group or family therapy) can get together with a therapist to discuss what is happening in their life.

Discussions with the therapist brings about realisations about thinking, feelings and behaviour. The change in understanding opens one up to new possibilities. The therapist’s skill is important here. You need to find the right person.  

The therapeutic relationship is very powerful because the therapist is completely neutral about the outcome and provides a space where people can realise their own potential. I do not believe therapists have a right to tell people what to do. The people, not the therapist must live out the consequences of their decisions. Unless they are going to harm them selves or others, of course.

Most people seek help about something in particular. Like when they are having trouble and need some help. Apart from dealing with the main issue that initiates therapy, it’s difficult to know exactly what is going to happen but you can look back at the end and see what has taken place. Like life….

Being open to the idea of personal growth is the key. In my experience, many people attend therapy/counselling for one reason and find that they have enriched their life in other areas as well. 

More later……..

Take Care

Therapy Monkey